Tag Archives: science fiction

The mutant animal arms race in Afghanistan

A long time ago I brought you the story about how the U.S. was reported to have employed mutant killer cats in Afghanistan to kill Taliban and frighten the civilian population.

Then, we seemed to have the animal war well in hand as bears (obviously CIA employees) killed two militants in Pakistan.

Then, the Taliban responded by indicating their intent to clone dinosaurs and use them in their jihad.

Now, (h/t foreign policy) it has been announced that the Taliban are employing monkeys to attack coalition soldiers.  And these are the poo throwing types you’re used to.  These monkeys are serious

Taliban forces have taught monkeys how to use the Kalashnikov, Bren light machine gun and trench mortars. They also teach them how to identify and attack soldiers wearing U.S. military uniforms.

These monkey babies who lost their mothers are sent to a secret Taliban training base one-by-one to become killer monkeys.

A secret monkey terrorist training camp.  That’s it.  Game over, man.  Game over.

Oh…but that’s not it.  It gets better.  The Taliban have  a method to their madness.  They’ve decided to publicize their New Model Army in the hopes of getting the all powerful animal rights movement to force the coalition to withdrawal. 

“If a person who loves animals knows the monkeys may be injured in the war, they might pressure the government to force the withdrawal of western forces in Afghanistan,” said one Taliban insider.

On the bright side…being population centric should be pretty easy with monkey insurgents.  He who controls the bananas, controls the future.

And it must be real!  There are pictures!

Obviously the Taliban haven’t seen how this movie ends:

And for the record:  I’d like to thank the Chinese meda and the Taliban for allowing me to write a post that I could tag with ‘Afghanistan, animal rights, science fiction and humor’.

Robot uprising Wednesday!

Oh…this won’t turn out good.  The Brits have announced that they’re developing a pilotless fighter plane.  That’s not particularly shocking but look at the picture of the thing:

Ok, I’m not a huge Battlestar Galactica fan, but this thing looks a little too much like a cylon for me.  The thing has a giant red eye for chrissakes!  Don’t the engineers know that robotic creatures with red eyes are always evil?  Didn’t these guys learn from Cyberdyne Systems?  Oh, wait.  I guess they couldn’t have learned from them since the robot uprising hasn’t happened yet.

Here’s the boilerplate ‘don’t worry…nothing can go wrong statement’.

The MoD also stressed that all weaponised UAVs were under human control.

“Should such systems enter into service, they will at all times be under the control of highly trained military crews on the ground,” it said in a statement.

Yeah, until the computer system acquires self awareness, disengages the self-destruct system and nukes the nearest megalopolis.

Greatest movie clip ever…

(h/t boingboing)

And then follow this link to the infographic to unlock the scientific mystery that allows a shark to take down a 747…

Clearly this means that every single idea the human mind is capable of has now been thought of.

Post Apocalyptic Weekend Wrap up

I just caught the first episode of the BBC series The Survivors which follows a group of people in the wake of a virus that kills 90% of the worlds population.  I don’t know if there’s anything particularly new in the story but I also don’t know if that’s necessary for these end of the world tales.  The first episode was pretty good both in terms of acting and production values and so, if you’re a fan of apocalypse fiction, try to find a copy and watch it.

I’m not sure how I missed this given the first season was from 2008 but they seem to have started another season this year.

Oh, and nertz to the BBC for not allowing those of us on this side of the pond from watching their programs on-line.  Gee, and are there really people out there who don’t understand why people engage in file sharing?

AND…

It might be the end of the world so you better start stocking up your food supplies now.  There’s a fungus that kills wheat with amazing efficiency and we have no idea how to stop it.  (h/t daily dish)

Kvick Tänkare

Why are dogs so good at picking up social ques from humans?  Just a note, we are unable to replicate this experiment at TwShiloh HQ because when I point at something Shiloh tends to just stare at my finger.  Sometimes he’ll bark at me.

Ok, I’m not kidding now.  Go to Kotare’s website and read his alternate history of post WW1 Europe.

Is anyone really shocked to find out that various federal agencies were collecting information on various groups not engaged in criminal activity?  I was going to go a bit deeper into this but can see it’s going to need it’s own post.  More later.

Pervasive security cameras don’t substantially reduce crime.

The Atlantic has redesigned their website.  They just have such a consistently high quality of stuff it’s amazing but it’s going to take some time to get used to this format.

Remind me, if I ever have a daughter, that she absolutely will NOT have a traditional Islamic wedding (not that it would be likely but just for the record).

And…the latest in the Washington Facebook-sphere

X-Files watch

YT sent me this article that describes yet more scientists screwing around with the forces that they can’t control:

Scientists in Illinois have developed a way to make simple oil droplets “smart” enough to navigate through a complex maze almost like a trained lab rat.

Am I the only person who remembers black oil from the X-Files?

I’m telling you, this just ain’t good.

It’s a tea-party world

The more journalists try to convince me that the tea-party is a legitimate movement that deserves serious consideration, the more firmly them seem to be an example of mass psychosis to me.

Anyway, I was thinking about them this morning and grouping around for a good analogy for what America might look like under tea-party ‘ideology’ and then it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I’d grown up with a picture of a tea-party America.  And so, dear reader, I submit to you a vision of tea party paradise…

I have met the tea party…and he’s a six year old boy named Anthony Fremont