Riffing off of Stuart Stevens, I too need to confess my life as a threat to the American way too. Please consider:
- While I began my schooling in a christian setting, I left in the middle of the first grade to attend a godless public school. “And we all know what that means. As a Muslim, I would have had no conflict attending these non-denominational schools.”
- At the age of 18, I left this country to begin a long career with a militant organization. I undertook 2 years of military training in Germany. The same country that many of the 9/11 hijackers lived in prior to coming to America!
- I visited two communist countries during my time there. East Germany and Hungary. Both countries had a record of supporting terrorist organizations!
- Shortly after 9/11, I went to Afghanistan and lived there for almost a year. During that time I trained with Muslim military forces and tried to improve the lives of Afghans. The same country that supported and aided Osama bin Laden!
- I have, on multiple occasions, patronized Muslim businesses. Most often to fuel my vehicle (thereby funding all sorts of radical Muslim governments) but also to buy food. I am not able to provide proof that these Muslims did not have radical political thoughts and yet I continue to support them!
- I currently have several albums on my mp3 player that contain Arabic music. I am not able to prove that the artists are pro-American or that these songs don’t have subversive hidden messages!!! I claim this is because I don’t speak arabic but wouldn’t any ‘real’ American take the time to learn what is on his portable music device?
- I refuse to eat pork or take illegal drugs, just like the followers of radical Islam!!!
- I have knowingly contributed a portion of my earnings to socialist programs for over 20 years. These programs have been involved in ‘spreading the wealth’ for all sorts of social parasites who contribute nothing to our society. These programs (known as Social Security and Medicaid/Medicare) fund millions of ne’er-do-wells known commonly as ‘senior citizens’.
- I have traveled to several well known Socialist countries, including Sweden and Finland and reportedly enjoyed myself in those havens of godlessness and oppression.
- I spent three years in a radical center of elitist, anti-American education (Rutgers University). While there I took a number of anti-American university courses (wait…aren’t anti-American and university redundant terms?).
- I had been to New York City and the Pentagon prior to the 9/11 attacks. I can not prove that I was not conducting surveillance of the attack sites.
- I refuse to eat beef…unlike all true Americans.
Clearly, these can’t all be ‘coincidences’ or written off as harmless. Would you trust someone with such dangerous and risky traits?
Can America take the risk?
Ok, readers…now’s your chance to get all mavericky and interactive here. Feel free to post bogus, circumstantial evidence ‘proving’ you’re a threat to the very fabric of democracy. Go ahead, give it your best shot.