Daily Archives: November 19, 2008

The problem of pirates

Ok, I’m not particularly qualified to discuss this issue but that’s the beauty of blogging.

There’s certainly been a lot of press over the past month or two about the Somali pirates who are running amok.

The Indians just blew up a ‘mothership‘ (hopefully E.T. got away) but it doesn’t sound like anyone has much hope this will have any long term effect on the problem.

This article (H/T State Failure Blog) tries to address some of the underlying issues fueling the problem (and this one from MSNBC), and there are lots of them.

  • The ocean is too big
  • Nobody wants to pony up the lion’s share of resources to patrol the area more effectively
  • There hasn’t been a plan of what to do with the pirates
  • The lack of a functioning government on land means there’s no enforcement coming from that side of the equation

“The American military’s solution has been to advise ships to hire private security. But many in the shipping industry have been reluctant, fearing armed guards will prompt increased violence from pirates.”

Blackwater is reported to be sending a ship out there to do escort duty but I’m not sure why the U.S. military can’t take a more proactive approach.

Would it be that expensive or resource intensive to create a small fleet of ‘Q ships‘?  Buy some old merchant ships, outfit them with some arms, good radar/sonar/reconnaissance capabilities, lure the pirates to them and blast them out of the water.  I’m sure you’d have marines knocking each other over to volunteer for that duty.

What am I missing to explain why this isn’t a good idea?

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No better time for those tin foil hats

Wow, I really seem to be ahead of the news curve lately.  Just days after my incredibly brilliant post on the value of tin foil hats it appears that I’m living in the epicenter of UFO sightings this year.  My favorite report:

On June 23, a woman reported seeing an “alien entity” in the JCPenney’s men’s section.  “He was standing by a clothes rack,” the report said. “She described him as being male, no hair, gray skin, almond black eyes with a lumpy heavily wrinkled face.” The alien appeared to be shopping and had a “pleasant smile” for ladies in the store.

That certainly sounds shocking.  Unfortunately, I think I’ve seen hordes of beings fitting that description in every WalMart I’ve ever been in.

Still, perhaps we might be able to tease out more about these creatures if we only knew where they originally came from…

What started with a single UFO sighting over a Middletown Mexican restaurant Jan. 26 has turned into a science fiction sensation.

Oh no…Quick!  someone call Lou Dobbs!  Remember, even an extraterrestrial alien is an illegal alien, taking away jobs from good, hardworking American spacefarers.  If we paid Americans an honest wage for harvesting the Martian bauxite fields we wouldn’t have these creepy gray guys buying all of our discount men’s ties and cufflinks.

American cufflinks for American workers!  Well, Chinese cufflinks anyway…

UPDATE:  Argh!  A quick review of my blog reveals that I haven’t yet published my opus on tin foil hats.  Rest assured it’s in the queue and will be published soon.  My only excuse is that I’ve been preoccupied with all the ducks in the area that have begun wearing hats.  Where on earth is the insane haberdasher who is responsible for this outrage?